It's funny. I always thought I'd be one of those bloggers who posted constantly. I tried! I thought that I'd be one of those travellers who used their blog as a sort of crutch. You know, the ones who feel more connected the more they share. And I definitely thought that would be the case with me. I'm sort of happy that I've fallen into a comfortable routine (kind of!) and have totally shaken off that cultural fatigue thing. Also, I'm happy that I'm starting to feel like I have a life here, one that I couldn't possibly, even if I tried, keep you completely up to date with.
Things here are in a constant state of flux. Of change. The environment. This city. New buildings are popping up everywhere. Old ones are torn down. New friends are made and in the process, others are lost. And yet there are small consistancies that I'm beginning to recognize. Things that help me feel more at home, they help me relate in a small way, to the people I live and work with.
Work. Oh man. It's still excrutiatingly slow. Things just don't happen. At first I felt helpless and frustrated. There was really nothing I could do. Although I wanted (very badly) to work, my boss was under some personal constraints. Like many Ghanaian women, she is responsible for most, if not all of the domestic chores. Childcare, cleaning, cooking and her community obligations. As an employed woman as well, she works all week and does all her shopping, washing and cooking on the weekend. Add to this equation, some health issues. And what you have left is an exhausted woman. The last thing I want to do is overwhelm her with my need to work, work, work. Problem is we don't have a team. And I'm here to "build capacity," adhere to "developing sustainably." My role isn't to do things for my partner organization, but to give them to tools to do it for themselves.
But this left me at an impasse. I ended up spending more time thinking and reading. And then it dawned on me that if I can't control my work at all, I might as well just roll with the punches and do my own projects on the side in order to feel fulfilled. You must be wondering..why did it take you four months (Four months, I know, isn't that nuts - I'm halfway done this adventure) to figure that out?! To be honest, it was one of those things that's so obvious, it didn't really seem like an option. You mean, I can just NOT stress about it? What a concept! And I'm an OCD perfectionist when it comes to my work. But I'm learning to relax - that things will fall into place when they are ready. Instead of obsessing about how work just isn't working out..I'm writing a novel, designing a manual, planning visits to refugee camps and special education schools, planning touristy trips across the country and expanding my social circle.
I'm in a much better mindset than I was in my last post. Since then I've seen wild vultures, a family of baboons, been caught in traffic resulting from a giant herd of cows, dealt with an ant infestation, been accused of being a member of Al-Qaeda and survived malaria. I think I'm doing alright.
