The Last Days: Triumphs and Tragedies

Written Feb. 28th

I’m having a hard time putting my thoughts into words. How can I possibly sum up my time in Ghana? It feels like it’s been forever and no time at all since I first stepped off the plane into this once foreign land. Now, in many ways, this place is my home.

It’s tough to think that in less than 12 hours I will be on a plane back to Toronto. The thought is composed mostly of feelings of apprehension and anxiety, but also relief and excitement. Everything feels very surreal. Finding the energy to pack is difficult, I keep finding myself getting lost in thought. Dwelling. Reminiscing. Like it or not, this adventure is over. It’s been relegated to the ranks of memories.

 A school in Adenta

Ghana has certainly been a place of extremes. Looking in the face of urban poverty can be quite distressing; but in Accra, this is always coupled with extravagant homes, flashy cars, the latest fashion trends and just about “upscale” everything. The levels of inequality are stark – and very visible. It is still not uncommon to see lepers on the street begging for food and shoeless children selling water. Sometimes the despair can be overwhelming. But more often than not, Ghanaians are happy, loud, boisterous and extremely welcoming people. They love any opportunity to smile and laugh. They take pride in their peaceful mentalities. From triumphs to tragedies, Ghana will always have a special place in my heart. 

Waterfall in Larabanga (I think that's where it is, anyway)

To say this trip has only been positive would be a downright lie. In line with the theme of extremes, my emotions too have been something close to a rollercoaster ride. There were times when I wished to never leave my house. I grew tired of feeling like a minor celebrity once I left my door. More than once I was tempted to yell, “MY NAME IS NOT OBURONI!” Being hassled by men became a daily occurrence. Learning how to let them down lightly without bruising their tender male egos was a constant negotiation. I’ve been through betrayals, heartbreaks, flings and lies. But my time in Ghana has taught me invaluable lessons about myself, my future and how I wish to live from here on in.

I have made some amazing friends here. To name them all would be impossible. But the people who made the most lasting impact on my life were, without a doubt, the beach children in Kokrobite. I remember crying on the beach during my last weekend, because I knew it would probably be the last time I would see many of them again. They taught me how to dance and sing, speak Twi and truly make the most of every little miracle. I taught them to read, write, draw and think about their futures. They protected me and looked out for me. I answered their curious questions and they answered mine. These children, many of whom are completely alone, spending all day at the beach, living from meal to meal, showed me what I want to do with my life, where I want to invest my energy, where I can truly make a difference. When they came bounding towards me and wrapped me with hugs, I knew I was doing something right.

 One of my sweeties at Kokrobite

Writing this now is hard for me. Knowing that tomorrow I will be so removed from such a monumental time in my life has me battling some conflicting emotions. I will miss so many aspects of Ghanaian culture – I wish I could adequately express my sadness in leaving. Instead of making a spectacle of my departure, I have decided to leave quietly. With my simple good-byes, I can only maintain the conviction in my heart that one day I will be back here again. I have begun to see the bigger picture of the world and my life, to appreciate the triumphs amongst the tragedies and forge a future deserving of everything that has been given to me during these past 8 months.

Learning to love and to lose is one of the hardest lessons in life. Like a mother molding a child into an adult, Ghana has never given up on me.

Medaase.

Celebrations at Adjiriganor Public School of "Best Teacher Awards"

It's Time

I know, I know, it’s been forever since I’ve updated this thing! Does anyone even read this? Everything feels a tad strange because I realize I’m coming to the end of my adventure. Can you believe it?! Only 7 weeks left. I’ll turn around twice and it’ll all be over. It’s like seeing the finish line, but not wanting to end the race. 

Truth be told, I’m silly excited to see all my friends and family again. To see how much or how little things have changed. To enjoy consistent and reliable electricity and always knowing that when I turn on the tap, water will come out. To have obnoxiously long, hot showers (although I might feel guilty). And to sit on a spacious and sometimes even air conditioned bus! But with all this said, a part of me will stay in Ghana, just as my experience in Ghana will always remain with me. Tiringly cliché I know – but it’s just so true! 

I wonder how long this fresh perspective will last me? Will I ever make it back to Ghana? I hate questions to which the only viable answer is “time will tell.” But if I’ve learned anything during my time here it’s that time is as much an objective truth as it is a subjective one. No matter how hard we try it just keeps moving us forward to an inevitable end..kinda like this trip. But it’s also a social construct, an understanding, an idea. It’s the reason a simple task that should take 2 hours, takes 2 weeks. It’s an appreciation of the process rather than the end result. It’s knowing that nothing is worth it if it’s rushed. We are all servants of time. And in due time, I’m sure I’ll be back.

Another realization I came to was that I’ve been here for 6 months and I havn't really given you the low down of my work. I’m sorry ooo! I’m the Gender Advocacy Assistant to the Girl Child Officer of the Adentan Municipal Education Directorate. We design programming to support girls through school while working to make school environments more inclusive to female students.

 So far we have: conducted personal hygiene workshops to address cleanliness and sanitation habits with a special focus on how to deal with menstruation. This workshop was important because many girls end up missing school every month when they are menstruating, leaving them at a distinct disadvantage to boys. Equipped with easy, low cost methods of keeping their bodies clean, girls are able to stay in school even during Mother Nature’s little gift.

We also facilitated sexual transmitted diseases workshops as a method to reduce new infections of HIV/AIDS and teenage pregnancy. Girls here are often encouraged to marry young and aren’t given the tools or the confidence to turn down sexual activity or endorse condom use. Often when they become pregnant they are not given another opportunity to finish school. These workshops were done with both male and female students. We gave them the opportunity to ask anonymous questions and some of them were just fascinating! It became clear to us that this type of education is crucial for youth. Many were very curious about condom use and diseases, but I could tell that condoms are still not socially acceptable or even  affordable for many sexually active teens.

After the workshops, we planned a Role Model Conference for over 500 girls. This conference was designed so that girls could see that their hard work in school can and will pay off. We invited prominent, successful and inspiring Ghanaian women as guest speakers as well as University of Ghana students to act as mentors. The conference featured poems, and dramatic performances by the girls as well as an open forum where participants could as the role models any questions.

Then we began our training sessions with teachers who run Girls’ Clubs in schools. These clubs are meant to be a safe place where girls can meet, discuss their challenges both at home and at school and strategize ways to address them. Unfortunately most schools didn’t have functioning Girls’ Clubs and it is hoped that our training sessions will motivate teachers to come up with new activities to run and create avenues of community engagement.  Our second session is scheduled for later this month.

Lastly, we have our first annual Youth Arts Festival. This event is meant to allow students to really delve into social and cultural issues through performance. We also hope to provide skill training in basket-weaving, beads making and painting in order to showcase their works during the show. Any proceeds we receive will go into a Girl Child Education Fund which will help girls in need with school fees, uniforms and stationary. The festival is scheduled for the end of Feberuary and wouldn't be possible without the generous support of Fusion TV in Canada. 

Well, I think that’s about it! I hope you feel a little more up to speed. During my last two months I hope to travel more, finish my last few activities, wrap up my data collection for my research and write a couple more posts pour vous! If I don't get around to all that, well, I'll be seeing you all soon regardless. Be prepared for endless stories about Ghana.

I will not spare you!

 P.S. I tried to upload some pictures for your viewing pleasure - but it's way too freakin' slow and I'm way too impatient =)

To all those reading this right now...I freakin' love you! To all those who have been keeping up since day one...you're amazing and I love you more!!

It's funny. I always thought I'd be one of those bloggers who posted constantly. I tried! I thought that I'd be one of those travellers who used their blog as a sort of crutch. You know, the ones who feel more connected the more they share. And I definitely thought that would be the case with me. I'm sort of happy that I've fallen into a comfortable routine (kind of!) and have totally shaken off that cultural fatigue thing. Also, I'm happy that I'm starting to feel like I have a life here, one that I couldn't possibly, even if I tried, keep you completely up to date with.

Things here are in a constant state of flux. Of change. The environment. This city. New buildings are popping up everywhere. Old ones are torn down. New friends are made and in the process, others are lost. And yet there are small consistancies that I'm beginning to recognize. Things that help me feel more at home, they help me relate in a small way, to the people I live and work with.

Work. Oh man. It's still excrutiatingly slow. Things just don't happen. At first I felt helpless and frustrated. There was really nothing I could do. Although I wanted (very badly) to work, my boss was under some personal constraints. Like many Ghanaian women, she is responsible for most, if not all of the domestic chores. Childcare, cleaning, cooking and her community obligations. As an employed woman as well, she works all week and does all her shopping, washing and cooking on the weekend. Add to this equation, some health issues. And what you have left is an exhausted woman. The last thing I want to do is overwhelm her with my need to work, work, work. Problem is we don't have a team. And I'm here to "build capacity," adhere to "developing sustainably." My role isn't to do things for my partner organization, but to give them to tools to do it for themselves.

But this left me at an impasse. I ended up spending more time thinking and reading. And then it dawned on me that if I can't control my work at all, I might as well just roll with the punches and do my own projects on the side in order to feel fulfilled. You must be wondering..why did it take you four months (Four months, I know, isn't that nuts - I'm halfway done this adventure) to figure that out?! To be honest, it was one of those things that's so obvious, it didn't really seem like an option. You mean, I can just NOT stress about it? What a concept! And I'm an OCD perfectionist when it comes to my work. But I'm learning to relax - that things will fall into place when they are ready. Instead of obsessing about how work just isn't working out..I'm writing a novel, designing a manual, planning visits to refugee camps and special education schools, planning touristy trips across the country and expanding my social circle.

I'm in a much better mindset than I was in my last post. Since then I've seen wild vultures, a family of baboons, been caught in traffic resulting from a giant herd of cows, dealt with an ant infestation, been accused of being a member of Al-Qaeda and survived malaria. I think I'm doing alright.

So This Is Cultural Fatigue?

I'm pretty tired.

I'm tired of the constant noise..workers milling about, building things, breaking things
I'm tired of feeling like a prisoner in my own home..sneaking about, peeing quietly, pretending I'm not in
I'm tired of uninvited guests..painted smiles, offers of water, a seat
I'm tired of miscommunication..no, I said DON'T come over, not please come as soon as possible
I'm tired of being told to go to the hospital..a runny nose and a cough is not worth the $50 visit
I'm tired of the looks..from women, disdain..from men, fantasy..from children, fear
I'm tired of the whispers..we may not speak the same language, but gossip is everywhere
I'm tired of judgement..made to feel that the colour of my skin means I should be treated differently
I'm tired of my role..not only am I young, but I'm a woman, my voice is barely heard
I'm tired of negotiating friendships..no, I'm not your girlfriend, nope I'm not in love, yes we're JUST friends
I'm tired.
I'm tired of being a target, tired of being a dollar sign, tired of being an outsider..


Guess I should get some rest.

My Love Letter To Ghana

Dear Ghana,

You're incredible!
I know we barely know eachother, but you've truly taken over my imagination. Stolen my heart. It's hard to believe we just met. I really, really like you.
I like your sense of humour - you definitely make me laugh! And I'm intrigued by you. I know there's so much more to you than you let on. Your history, your experiences, your scars. They make you who you are, you know.
And you're beautiful.
I'd love to get to know you better. Explore you. Get to know your peaks and valleys if you know what I mean ;) Kidding!
But seriously though, I really appreciate everything you've done for me. Given me some perspective. I needed it. I feel so connected with you, and yet at the same time I feel so inconsequential. I mean, I'm just one person and you deserve the world.
I'll try not to ask much of you; I just ask that you accept me as I am and invest in the person I have potential to be. That's all.
Anywho, this is getting long and way too serious! Just know that I'll never be the same since I've met you..and I hope you don't mind having me around either.
You're an adventure I'd love to take on!

Yours Truly,

Rasheeda

One Minute Update

For all those tired of long pretentious rants, I have just the post for you. My One Minute Update!

Here goes:

Whoever told me Ghanaians are soft spoken was utterly WRONG. They are very loud, very expressive, very emotional and very social.
I've had more marriage proposals than I can count. "Marry me Oburuni," is how it usually goes. Followed by, "Take me to Canada!" Hmmmmmmm....nope....okay, maybe.
Some people really enjoy eating cat here. It's alright Mufasa, I'm not going to try it.
Strangers ask to take pictures with me. I think I look like a Ghanaian celebrity of some sort.
People really don't understand how I could possibly named Rasheeda and come from Canada.
Bats fly during the day! Hundreds of them in downtown Accra. Super cool!
My boss bought me a bra. Awww, how sweet.
The beach is absolutely stunning at night. The view from the mountains is breathtaking.
People much prefer to carry items on their heads than in their hands.
Making friends is easy, making lasting friendships - a lot harder (its the same anywhere)
I'm learning how to handwash my laundry.
Plumbers' cracks and hating Mondays are universal.
And last, but certainly not least - an evil terrorizing spider took residence in my room last week. Without a doubt the scariest thing I ever went through was sleeping with this monster in my room. Check it out....

....yeah.

'Til next time,

Nante yie

The Problem With Comparisons - My Rant

Well world, here I am again with another yet another post!

I'd like to take some time to give a more nuanced view of Ghana, my time here, my observations and the comparisons I've made to my home in Toronto, Canada.

First, I would like to clarify that although in general, the people here are more open, friendly, giving and hospitable than those in Toronto, by no means am I trying to make Torontonians seem like evil, cold, self-centred people. It is definitely not so. Nor am I pointing fingers or trying to single out any individuals. My observations are very general and based on first impressions - I've only been here for about 6 weeks now. Some of the differences between the two cultures are simply so striking that I just had to take the opportunity to put it into writing.

Also, I'd like to invite anyone who got defensive about my last post to do a little reflection as to why it felt that way. Perhaps it struck a nerve because you could have given more, or were blind to how much a simple gesture of giving can resonate with another. Many times we (as humans) don't like to ask for help; we hope for those around us to reach out, lend a helping hand, get us on our feet, or simply be there for us, even when its uncomfortable. We don’t need hand-outs, just support. In Ghana it was amazing how quickly I could shake the feeling of loneliness, when in Toronto it enveloped me.

But enough of that! Ghana is not perfect - and Toronto is not all bad. For example, in Toronto we have homeless shelters to house those who are without the basic necessities. We have women's shelters and havens for victims of abuse. We have support structures for those who have experienced trauma. We have paved roads, running potable water, universal healthcare, sanitation and employment programs. We treat those with physical and mental disabilities with respect and provide opportunities for them to meet their dreams. We offer support to those affected by substance abuse. We refuse to give up on disillusioned youth. We continue to try to provide safe spaces for gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansexual/transgendered communities. We offer free, compulsory basic education. We have food banks, debt relief programs and animal rights. I value all of these things.

But isn't it true that we only appreciate these things once we lose them (or once we've seen the conditions others live in)? And from what I'm hearing about our current mayor, it may only be a matter of time until many of these priorities are lost.

In Ghana, many of these luxuries are unheard of. The roads are in abysmal condition. Hungry families huddle on the street beside the barbed wire walls of a million dollar estate. Divorce can be a social taboo. Thousands of children never get the chance to go to school. They become street sellers in a market that is oversaturated with goods. If you are not able-bodied, have suffered an accident, or were born with a physical or mental disability there is little opportunity for employment. Homosexuality is illegal. Virtually no services exist for victims of sexual or domestic abuse. Garbage disposal is inconsistent or non-existent in many communities - burning waste is very common. Dogs seen on the street are in such ill health, many are starving, injured, feared, beaten, killed.

My point here is that sometimes it's hard to see all that you have, when you don't have much perspective or anything to compare it to. Many times we don't see that we truly have a lot to give, when we're wrapped up in all that we have potential to lose. Sometimes it hurts to self-analyze, and come to the painful realization that we've lived much of our lives blind to the misfortune and suffering of others.

When I describe Ghana many may not be surprised - after all, they have seen images of Africa before. The pictures of children with bloated bellies and sad eyes. To many, my descriptions above don't have shock appeal because they've watched TV before. The women looking helpless, surrounded by flies, angrily handwashing their family's clothes. To some, the conditions here don't appal because - well, this is Africa after all. What did I expect?

For starters, recognition that poverty in Africa is not natural. It's not "just the way things are." It's not that this continent is steps behind North America and Europe on a linear, evolutionary path to modernity. Poverty is man-made. It relates to unfair terms of international trade, functioning in an unbalanced system of the current international division of labour, both of which force countries to export raw materials and import manufactured goods. Countries can no longer grow food to sustain their own population, but to sell them at low prices to rich nations. Countries don’t have the option of protecting their small, but crucial industries from outside control, or refusing huge multinational corporations from coming in and destroying the dream of a truly independent nation.

While skyscrapers are built in Ghana, while the police clear the streets of informal vendors, while foreigners shrug and think apathetically, “this is Africa;” I hope to reverse this thinking and these seemingly ‘natural’ images. We are all complicit to the active underdevelopment of Africa. Yes – even me, the bleeding heart hippie, who writes passionately in circles, asking a lot of questions, posing paradoxes, but has no answers. I can’t expect everyone to buy fair trade, to search for locally grown, organic foods, to be activists and advocates, to work tirelessly for change, to be hyper-aware, or to search for justice every waking day of their lives. I can’t even expect that of myself! But a little self-reflection, self-analysis and finding small way to help someone in need is always a good place to start.

My home will always be in Toronto, in my small townhouse, with my 7 animals, my wilting plants, my lovely roomies, my family, my forever friends and much of my history. But right now, my life is in Ghana. My heart and my soul live in Ghana. For now. I will invest everything I can in changing the little bit of the world that is right in front of me, one day at a time. In my mind, part of my responsibility in seeing more of the world is conveying my observations to you. I will do my best to be nuanced, sensitive and grounded. Remember I'm not picking on you, my dedicated readers, who take the time to digest my rants. I know your lives are not easy either. Giving is never easy.

That's why it’s so important.