To all those reading this right now...I freakin' love you! To all those who have been keeping up since day one...you're amazing and I love you more!!

It's funny. I always thought I'd be one of those bloggers who posted constantly. I tried! I thought that I'd be one of those travellers who used their blog as a sort of crutch. You know, the ones who feel more connected the more they share. And I definitely thought that would be the case with me. I'm sort of happy that I've fallen into a comfortable routine (kind of!) and have totally shaken off that cultural fatigue thing. Also, I'm happy that I'm starting to feel like I have a life here, one that I couldn't possibly, even if I tried, keep you completely up to date with.

Things here are in a constant state of flux. Of change. The environment. This city. New buildings are popping up everywhere. Old ones are torn down. New friends are made and in the process, others are lost. And yet there are small consistancies that I'm beginning to recognize. Things that help me feel more at home, they help me relate in a small way, to the people I live and work with.

Work. Oh man. It's still excrutiatingly slow. Things just don't happen. At first I felt helpless and frustrated. There was really nothing I could do. Although I wanted (very badly) to work, my boss was under some personal constraints. Like many Ghanaian women, she is responsible for most, if not all of the domestic chores. Childcare, cleaning, cooking and her community obligations. As an employed woman as well, she works all week and does all her shopping, washing and cooking on the weekend. Add to this equation, some health issues. And what you have left is an exhausted woman. The last thing I want to do is overwhelm her with my need to work, work, work. Problem is we don't have a team. And I'm here to "build capacity," adhere to "developing sustainably." My role isn't to do things for my partner organization, but to give them to tools to do it for themselves.

But this left me at an impasse. I ended up spending more time thinking and reading. And then it dawned on me that if I can't control my work at all, I might as well just roll with the punches and do my own projects on the side in order to feel fulfilled. You must be wondering..why did it take you four months (Four months, I know, isn't that nuts - I'm halfway done this adventure) to figure that out?! To be honest, it was one of those things that's so obvious, it didn't really seem like an option. You mean, I can just NOT stress about it? What a concept! And I'm an OCD perfectionist when it comes to my work. But I'm learning to relax - that things will fall into place when they are ready. Instead of obsessing about how work just isn't working out..I'm writing a novel, designing a manual, planning visits to refugee camps and special education schools, planning touristy trips across the country and expanding my social circle.

I'm in a much better mindset than I was in my last post. Since then I've seen wild vultures, a family of baboons, been caught in traffic resulting from a giant herd of cows, dealt with an ant infestation, been accused of being a member of Al-Qaeda and survived malaria. I think I'm doing alright.

So This Is Cultural Fatigue?

I'm pretty tired.

I'm tired of the constant noise..workers milling about, building things, breaking things
I'm tired of feeling like a prisoner in my own home..sneaking about, peeing quietly, pretending I'm not in
I'm tired of uninvited guests..painted smiles, offers of water, a seat
I'm tired of miscommunication..no, I said DON'T come over, not please come as soon as possible
I'm tired of being told to go to the hospital..a runny nose and a cough is not worth the $50 visit
I'm tired of the looks..from women, disdain..from men, fantasy..from children, fear
I'm tired of the whispers..we may not speak the same language, but gossip is everywhere
I'm tired of judgement..made to feel that the colour of my skin means I should be treated differently
I'm tired of my role..not only am I young, but I'm a woman, my voice is barely heard
I'm tired of negotiating friendships..no, I'm not your girlfriend, nope I'm not in love, yes we're JUST friends
I'm tired.
I'm tired of being a target, tired of being a dollar sign, tired of being an outsider..


Guess I should get some rest.

My Love Letter To Ghana

Dear Ghana,

You're incredible!
I know we barely know eachother, but you've truly taken over my imagination. Stolen my heart. It's hard to believe we just met. I really, really like you.
I like your sense of humour - you definitely make me laugh! And I'm intrigued by you. I know there's so much more to you than you let on. Your history, your experiences, your scars. They make you who you are, you know.
And you're beautiful.
I'd love to get to know you better. Explore you. Get to know your peaks and valleys if you know what I mean ;) Kidding!
But seriously though, I really appreciate everything you've done for me. Given me some perspective. I needed it. I feel so connected with you, and yet at the same time I feel so inconsequential. I mean, I'm just one person and you deserve the world.
I'll try not to ask much of you; I just ask that you accept me as I am and invest in the person I have potential to be. That's all.
Anywho, this is getting long and way too serious! Just know that I'll never be the same since I've met you..and I hope you don't mind having me around either.
You're an adventure I'd love to take on!

Yours Truly,

Rasheeda

One Minute Update

For all those tired of long pretentious rants, I have just the post for you. My One Minute Update!

Here goes:

Whoever told me Ghanaians are soft spoken was utterly WRONG. They are very loud, very expressive, very emotional and very social.
I've had more marriage proposals than I can count. "Marry me Oburuni," is how it usually goes. Followed by, "Take me to Canada!" Hmmmmmmm....nope....okay, maybe.
Some people really enjoy eating cat here. It's alright Mufasa, I'm not going to try it.
Strangers ask to take pictures with me. I think I look like a Ghanaian celebrity of some sort.
People really don't understand how I could possibly named Rasheeda and come from Canada.
Bats fly during the day! Hundreds of them in downtown Accra. Super cool!
My boss bought me a bra. Awww, how sweet.
The beach is absolutely stunning at night. The view from the mountains is breathtaking.
People much prefer to carry items on their heads than in their hands.
Making friends is easy, making lasting friendships - a lot harder (its the same anywhere)
I'm learning how to handwash my laundry.
Plumbers' cracks and hating Mondays are universal.
And last, but certainly not least - an evil terrorizing spider took residence in my room last week. Without a doubt the scariest thing I ever went through was sleeping with this monster in my room. Check it out....

....yeah.

'Til next time,

Nante yie

The Problem With Comparisons - My Rant

Well world, here I am again with another yet another post!

I'd like to take some time to give a more nuanced view of Ghana, my time here, my observations and the comparisons I've made to my home in Toronto, Canada.

First, I would like to clarify that although in general, the people here are more open, friendly, giving and hospitable than those in Toronto, by no means am I trying to make Torontonians seem like evil, cold, self-centred people. It is definitely not so. Nor am I pointing fingers or trying to single out any individuals. My observations are very general and based on first impressions - I've only been here for about 6 weeks now. Some of the differences between the two cultures are simply so striking that I just had to take the opportunity to put it into writing.

Also, I'd like to invite anyone who got defensive about my last post to do a little reflection as to why it felt that way. Perhaps it struck a nerve because you could have given more, or were blind to how much a simple gesture of giving can resonate with another. Many times we (as humans) don't like to ask for help; we hope for those around us to reach out, lend a helping hand, get us on our feet, or simply be there for us, even when its uncomfortable. We don’t need hand-outs, just support. In Ghana it was amazing how quickly I could shake the feeling of loneliness, when in Toronto it enveloped me.

But enough of that! Ghana is not perfect - and Toronto is not all bad. For example, in Toronto we have homeless shelters to house those who are without the basic necessities. We have women's shelters and havens for victims of abuse. We have support structures for those who have experienced trauma. We have paved roads, running potable water, universal healthcare, sanitation and employment programs. We treat those with physical and mental disabilities with respect and provide opportunities for them to meet their dreams. We offer support to those affected by substance abuse. We refuse to give up on disillusioned youth. We continue to try to provide safe spaces for gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansexual/transgendered communities. We offer free, compulsory basic education. We have food banks, debt relief programs and animal rights. I value all of these things.

But isn't it true that we only appreciate these things once we lose them (or once we've seen the conditions others live in)? And from what I'm hearing about our current mayor, it may only be a matter of time until many of these priorities are lost.

In Ghana, many of these luxuries are unheard of. The roads are in abysmal condition. Hungry families huddle on the street beside the barbed wire walls of a million dollar estate. Divorce can be a social taboo. Thousands of children never get the chance to go to school. They become street sellers in a market that is oversaturated with goods. If you are not able-bodied, have suffered an accident, or were born with a physical or mental disability there is little opportunity for employment. Homosexuality is illegal. Virtually no services exist for victims of sexual or domestic abuse. Garbage disposal is inconsistent or non-existent in many communities - burning waste is very common. Dogs seen on the street are in such ill health, many are starving, injured, feared, beaten, killed.

My point here is that sometimes it's hard to see all that you have, when you don't have much perspective or anything to compare it to. Many times we don't see that we truly have a lot to give, when we're wrapped up in all that we have potential to lose. Sometimes it hurts to self-analyze, and come to the painful realization that we've lived much of our lives blind to the misfortune and suffering of others.

When I describe Ghana many may not be surprised - after all, they have seen images of Africa before. The pictures of children with bloated bellies and sad eyes. To many, my descriptions above don't have shock appeal because they've watched TV before. The women looking helpless, surrounded by flies, angrily handwashing their family's clothes. To some, the conditions here don't appal because - well, this is Africa after all. What did I expect?

For starters, recognition that poverty in Africa is not natural. It's not "just the way things are." It's not that this continent is steps behind North America and Europe on a linear, evolutionary path to modernity. Poverty is man-made. It relates to unfair terms of international trade, functioning in an unbalanced system of the current international division of labour, both of which force countries to export raw materials and import manufactured goods. Countries can no longer grow food to sustain their own population, but to sell them at low prices to rich nations. Countries don’t have the option of protecting their small, but crucial industries from outside control, or refusing huge multinational corporations from coming in and destroying the dream of a truly independent nation.

While skyscrapers are built in Ghana, while the police clear the streets of informal vendors, while foreigners shrug and think apathetically, “this is Africa;” I hope to reverse this thinking and these seemingly ‘natural’ images. We are all complicit to the active underdevelopment of Africa. Yes – even me, the bleeding heart hippie, who writes passionately in circles, asking a lot of questions, posing paradoxes, but has no answers. I can’t expect everyone to buy fair trade, to search for locally grown, organic foods, to be activists and advocates, to work tirelessly for change, to be hyper-aware, or to search for justice every waking day of their lives. I can’t even expect that of myself! But a little self-reflection, self-analysis and finding small way to help someone in need is always a good place to start.

My home will always be in Toronto, in my small townhouse, with my 7 animals, my wilting plants, my lovely roomies, my family, my forever friends and much of my history. But right now, my life is in Ghana. My heart and my soul live in Ghana. For now. I will invest everything I can in changing the little bit of the world that is right in front of me, one day at a time. In my mind, part of my responsibility in seeing more of the world is conveying my observations to you. I will do my best to be nuanced, sensitive and grounded. Remember I'm not picking on you, my dedicated readers, who take the time to digest my rants. I know your lives are not easy either. Giving is never easy.

That's why it’s so important.

Of Yesterdays and Tomorrows...Settling in...

It's been a month now since I've relocated my life to Ghana.

Has it gone by slowly or quickly? A bit of both.

Time moves at a different pace here - it's something like learning to crawl after mastering how to run. And sure enough, I'm becoming accustomed to it. Enjoying it even. Taking the time to take in many life lessons. Accepting many personal changes. After spending much of my life trying to fill my time, trying to feel useful, trying to be productive, I'm learning that there's really no point rushing through it all. Rushing only makes life shorter. I know better than some that time is precious, it shouldn't be wasted. Now I'm learning to appreciate longevity.

...But as I alluded to before, a month gone by feels both like forever and no time all at once. If I use my old Westernized way of thinking, I would say I really haven't accomplished much. I'm not much further along with my work, I'm still confused about the structure of the organization I'm supposed to be working with and I haven't the slightest clue what to do my research project on. At this point my new African state of mind kicks in and recognizes that I've done one hellova job building relationships, making contacts, developing rapport, learning Twi, negotiating pricing, directing taxis, orienting myself in the city - even settling into my own house! I should be proud of myself.

I've learned to appreciate some of life's little perfect moments. I'm learning patience and forgiveness. I'm learning to give without expecting anything in return. This is what Ghana is teaching me.

Sometimes in my quiet contemplation I wonder about the changes I'm going through. I think about home and the detached way many sleepwalk through life. Can I ever be that way again? In accepting the magnanimous changes in my life, am I alientating myself from the friends and family who remain a part of my old lifestyle? Or will I slip silently back into easy numbness of North American isolation and ignorance? They call it reverse culture shock - the attempt to reintegrate (assimilate?) back into your original society. The fifth years in our program all seemed well adjusted after returning home from their co-op terms abroad. Back into the fast-paced, high-stress, deadline-oriented way of living. They spoke of their trips rather indifferently, without nostalgia or even much reflection. Maybe time does that with any experience - it removes much of the emotional weight, and adds an objective perspective to it all. Somehow I always knew this trip would change my life, I just didn't know in what way, shape or form it would take place.

In my short time here I've already met people willing to give more than some of my family and lifelong friends would ever consider. With the exception of my parents (and an extremely selective group of friends) who would give me the world if they possessed it, the generosity and proactive compassion I've found here is unparalleled. It's quite revealing that I come from a place of relative affluence, but had to travel half way around the world to an "underdeveloped" country to experience such an astounding level of selflessness and unconditional giving.

People greet eachother on the street. Your neighbours are your friends, not your enemies. Once you've given up on constant avoidance, actually stop for a conversation, look people in the eye, and allow yourself to thrive on human connectivity, you begin to trust the people around you. "Honey, don't talk to strangers," does not seem like something Ghanaian children are taught. "Love thy neighbor," certainly is. And it shows.

Even the respect that is shown to the older generations here is something you simply do not see in Canada. Upon arriving at a school, my boss can call upon any student to help her carry things indoors, even the smallest of items. I imagine the same situation in Toronto, a middle aged, able-bodied stranger asking a teenager to carry her fruit indoors - the kid may do it, but after a moments hesitation and silent questioning to themselves of either "what's wrong with this lady?" or "what's in it for me?" Personal gain certainly is an important concept here, but respect and hierarchy always comes first.  

People here always stop and ask for directions, yes - even men! Everyone looks out for eachother. Its not uncommon for a community member to discipline a child who isn't their's before taking them straight to their parents. I know that soon my whole neighbourhood will know that two oburunis have moved in - and I'll have to be aware that they'll be keeping an eye on us. We even had a visitor today who invited us over next sunday for lunch. Very sweet.

One thing's for certain. I really appreciate the small but amazing group of friends and family I have in my life who have been nothing but supportive and loving, not only through this crazy time in my life, but throughout. You know who you are! Ghana has taught me a lot, I know there is MUCH more to come - but most of all it has taught me to truly appreciate those around me who make an real effort to love me. Its taught me never be afraid to express my love and gratitude.

I love you all and one day I will give you everything you deserve.

P.S. There are pictures coming soon, I swear!





 

Let the Frustrations Reign

So here we are, almost 3 weeks in.

I'm having the opposite problem with this post - almost too much has happened since I've been here to even know where to start. Just when I think I'm beginning to settle in and get all excited about work, something new, confusing and utterly undeciferable happens. Over and over again.

Anyone who knows me is aware I'm a tad melodramatic by nature (I get it from my momma). Thus the typical ups and downs to be expected when being plopped in the middle of a new environment are not only amplified, but multiplied. Many a time have I been so homesick I don't even know what to do with myself. Sometimes I dwell on what Mufasa must be up to right now. I'm guessing he's either tormenting the other cats, or snuggling up to someone who isn't me. You think he'll remember me when I get back?

Other days I'm overwhelmed by trying to learn Twi as fast as possible, so I know exactly what people are saying when they're clearly talking about me (right in front of me, I might add). Sometimes I get tired of constantly negotiating for lower prices, while simply enjoying the human contact. Other days I lock myself away in my room and block out the world with my blaring headphones. But most days I'm perfectly content with the bumpy, dusty roads, busy markets, extremely adorable children who oogle at me when I walk by and the couple hundred marriage proposals I get a day.

Today, I'm a little frustrated. The pace of work is so extremely slow, it feels like it has come to a complete stop. No exaggeration, I spent the entire day today, sitting, smiling, sitting and then sitting some more. I've been in the official office a grand total of maybe 3 times, for about 15 minutes each. Not that I'm complaining, the office is crammed, loud and hot! But I'm a little confused about what I'm supposed to be doing here. I'm going to make an effort to clarify things with my boss, while being patient, diplomatic and reasonable. This is a bit of challenge sometimes. We've been helping another volunteer with her program: training french teachers. So I've just been sitting from 9-3 every day listening to french, getting increasingly hungry and wondering if tomorrow will be any different.

On a more positive note, I think I may have found a nice little place to live with a fellow volunteer from Canada. She's a little closer to my age, a lot of fun and easy to talk to. The place is fully furnished and even has running water, a kitchen and a bathroom! I really love the staff here at the hotel, but I can't wait to have a place of my own and get settled.

I've made a ton of observations since of been here, but one is the physicality of friendships. It's quite different than in Canada. Once someone has decided you're their close friend, you will be grabbed by the arm more often than you may be used to or your hand will be held for a long period of time. Its refreshing to see, men often walk hand in hand, arm in arm, sit on eachothers laps, or lean on eachothers legs. It's a sign of friendship and not at all homosexual. Also I've noticed that its very important to watch what you say here, because it can be seen as a sort of oral contract. It's no good to go back on your word, even if you're just saying it to appease someone in the moment. Not only are greetings a big thing here, but titles such as Aunty/Uncle or Momma/Poppa are gained when relationships grow. This has nothing to do with age or seniority, but how you relate to eachother. My boss has earned the Aunty title after waiting with me in the hospital for about 4 hours after a little malaria scare. Turns out I'm fine! One of the cooks here calls me Aunty Rasheeda, I have no idea what I've done to earn that title, but in return I call her Momma Rita (since she cooks and serves all my meals). I certainly have a lot to learn and am taking it in slowly.

All in all, this has certainly been an experience. I know there's still so much to come and I'm excited to see what this country and it's wonderful people have to offer. I've had the chance to go out partying once and it was a blast! I hope to visit the beach, check out some botanical gardens and see more animals. Oh - I saw a monkey for the first time today. It was wearing a shirt.

I'm out of interesting things to talk about for now. But in a couple weeks time I'll hopefully have moved in to my new place and have a better idea of what my role is at work.

Love, love, love to all of you who have taken the time to read this and keep in touch with me. It helps to fight the boredom and occaisonal loneliness away!

Til next time,

Ciao!

First Impressions

So, it's taken me a while to get this thing started. Mostly because I couldn't get my thoughts together enough in order to make this at least half interesting. But I promised you I would blog. So let the blogging begin.

I arrived in Accra, Ghana on June 30 at around 12:30 pm after a long and grueling flight. I thought I would be more nervous stepping out of the place than in actuality, and only began to get nervous after my baggage didn't appear for 40 minutes. One of the first things I noticed about Ghanaians is they are not shy to strike up a conversation, ask you why you're here and help you out. They seem genuinely concerned for my well-being. The baggage eventually came. One fellow even waited with me until he was sure I was safe and was picked up by the official WUSC driver.

After being here for a bit more than a week, this impression of locals has not changed. Whenever out on the street, or using local transit (trotros) they are usually extremely open and friendly. There are of course some people who are not as open to foreigners as others. A couple times I've been taunted and laughed at walking down the street. People yell out "Oburuni!" Which makes me uncomfortable. Perhaps they are just poking fun. Buts its the equivalent of yelling, "hey, black guy!" across the street in Toronto, which simply wouldn't be acceptable. Being multiracial, this gets annoying. It's a shame I am always seen as either one or the other. Black or white. In Ghana I am definitely white. It probably doesn't help that as Canadian volunteers we tend to travel as a group, which attracts a lot of attention (There are four of us here, from all across Canada working on seperate projects.) We are always charged Oburuni prices (significantly higher than local prices) and vendors can get pretty aggressive with their sales, assuming we have tons of money.

As I've mentioned to many people already, Accra is a fascinating and thriving city. It is filled with a ton of low lying, tin roof housing which sprawls across the expanse city. Vendors are everywhere. Traffic is awful. Most streets are unpaved and riddled with potholes. As one of the most developed countries in Africa, I begin to wonder what some of the other countries must be like. With that said, Ghana has a pretty good healthcare system, where all pregnant women get free service and malaria treatment is cheap and effective if caught early. One of the Canadian volunteers here has come down with malaria, but got herself some treatment and will probably be 100% better in about 3 days.

I've had a chance to see Adenta, where I will be working and to meet my new boss. She seems like someone I will get along with very well as she's super passionate about her work with women and girls. The pace of life here is something I am getting used to, but enjoying very much. Traffic tends to hold people up, resources are low and family always comes first, so appointments and deadlines are never absolute. It seems to be a norm to interrupt meetings to answer your phone. Stress doesn't seem to be a big problem here. But polite greetings are paramount.

I've made a few local friends and look forward to bursting out of this Canadian volunteer bubble. I hope to get a sense of the nightlife and what its like to be a Ghanaian (although I recognize this isn't completely possible). I am encouraged to keep smiling, stay open and go with the flow. All things I am very good at! I miss everyone at home and all the familiarities, but I will soon become accustomed to how things work here. It would be awesome if someone came to visit..just putting it out there =D

Taataa for now, my lovely blog followers. 'Til we meet again,

Adieu.